Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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