I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish i was in the wii world.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
