nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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