I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
