Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
