I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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