She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He better not be in your backpack
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
