You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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