so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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