you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
