Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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