How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I believe in your delicious
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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