Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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