I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
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Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
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