i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
