God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
