what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize