At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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