sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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