it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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