I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
