You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
