Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
