How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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