how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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