I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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