I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
