It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
