I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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