I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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