Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
