He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So apparently I’m into choking now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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