Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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