Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize