theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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