Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
