Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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