Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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