So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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