The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
