I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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