I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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