well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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