Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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