Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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