I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
