Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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