i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
did i just pee glitter
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
