So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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