We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize