It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
