Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
