The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
