Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
