At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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