You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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