BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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