What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
