Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
