Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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