I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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