sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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