omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
