Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
